Great Q... Great A...

10 stupid questions people usually ask in obvious
situations and some equally stupid answers:-

1.At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I
thought i'd watch
some
advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.


2.In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed
high-heeled shoes
steps on your
feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local
anesthesia.....why don't
you try
again or
shpould i try this time."

3.At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why?Would it rather have been you?

4.At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement.We
occasionaly also
spit
in it.

5.At a family get-together.When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk
yourself.

6.When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,
insensitive
lout...it's just the
money.

7.When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just
when you
called
Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would
win.What
do you think?

8.When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed oblects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if
I bite.

10.You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........it was a
chalk and now it's in
flames!!!

one liner`s

Subject: [kjscoe] One Liners..

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin
with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up
your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't
appear to realize that
you had set it free ....... You either married it
or gave birth to it.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day,
someone in an
aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would
put them down and
forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of
candy can make a
woman gain 5lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves
completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear
tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that
when you don't know what
you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight
because by then, your body
and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along
came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I
regain consciousness.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for
awhile and it shrinks two
sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say
things like, "You know,
sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've
forgotten my address, my mother's
maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten
to eat. You have to be a special kind of
stupid to forget to eat.

The trouble with some women is that they get all
excited about nothing and then
they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms
of stress are:
eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too
fast.
Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect
day.

If men can run the world, why can't they stop
wearing neckties? How intelligent
is it to start the day by tying a noose around
your neck?

from
sriram